mettā letter 3
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Dear fellow soul,
The deeper I dig, the more I learn about myself and the human experience. It is my intention to explain the human experience, so that I can help you and me learn more about ourselves.
Today I want to talk about the ego. The ego is a shield we create to protect ourselves, to protect our wounds.
Before we enter this world, we exist in a place beyond time and place. We experience unconditional love. We are surrounded in it. We bathe in it. We are it. Then we are born into the world of time and space, and we enter a conditional world. We are surrounded by condition. We are conditional. Our body is conditional. Our actions and reactions to each other are conditional. Even the love we receive is conditional.
As we grow and spend time in this world, we experience hardship and traumatic experiences — experiences of trauma — and through this experience of being alive and simply existing, we incur wounds. Simultaneously, as we grow, so does our intellect, and the natural human response to these wounds, we develop an ego. The ego protects our wounds from others, from the world. It is a shield. It is a mask.
The ego, this shield and mask, is the false self. The ego is a human’s attempt to display to others that “yes, I am worthy of love” and “yes, I am worthy of acceptance.”
When we talk about ego, the common example is a person with a “big” ego — a big shield — or a person that thinks very highly of his or herself. They tell themselves “I am better than …”. The most extreme position is “I am better than everyone.” This is an attempt to fulfill their need for love, for acceptance by convincing others to love and accept them and heal their wounds. They do this because they have not yet learned how to heal their own wounds by loving and accepting themselves unconditionally. Some people may be attracted to this ego, others may be repulsed by it. Those who are attracted to this person feel the same way, that they are “better than.” They look to those people who display this “better than” ego, and give them their love and attention.
But there is another extreme, another person that has a “big” ego — a big shield — and that is the person that believes “I am less than…” The most extreme position is “I am less than everyone.” This is an attempt to fulfill their need for love, for acceptance by convincing other to love and accept them and heal their wounds. They do this because they have not yet learned how to heal their own wounds by loving and accepting themselves unconditionally. Some people may be attracted to this ego, others may be repulsed by it. Those who are attracted to this person feel the same way, that they are “less than.” They look to those who display this “less than” ego and give them their love and attention.
To which extreme are you most attracted? There is no good or bad answer, it can simply be a self-analysis without judgement.
A person on the very extreme of “better than” will believe “I am better than everyone.” These are the demagogues, the megalomaniacs, the most powerful (via fear-based power) people. A person in the news today who displays this ego extreme would be Donald Trump.
A person on the very extreme of “less than” will believe “I am less than everyone.” These are the people who agree and accept to be the victims of the world. I can’t think of a person in the news who displays this ego, because the news doesn’t want to put someone on who says and believes “I am less than everyone.” We hide those people, or they hide themselves, because they believe they are not worthy.
In the absolute center of the spectrum of ego, exists no ego at all. This person believes “I am everyone.” The reason there is no ego, is because this person has done the work to dissolve the ego and return to who they were before they created an ego.
A person without an ego has learned to love themselves unconditionally, to accept themselves unconditionally. They heal their wounds. They make themselves whole. And once they have filled themselves with unconditional love, then their love pours out, teaching others the art of loving oneself unconditionally.
The person with no ego lays down their shield, they put down their mask. They are who they truly are, deep down, before they ever created their ego. They are who they always were, who they are now, and who they always will be. They bare their soul, their spirit shines through. They are the light. They are God. They are love.
I hope this letter gives you more insight into yourself.
Curridabat, San José, Costa Rica
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