mettā letter 1
Monday, January 4, 2016
Dear fellow soul,
Hello again, my friend. It brings me joy to be writing to you. I hope these words find you at peace.
I have been away for many reasons — a significant reason being these last three years of my life have been a time of tremendous personal growth and work. An apt summary of this period would be “waking up.”
“Waking up” or “awakening” refers to a rise in consciousness or awareness that I lacked earlier in my life. Awakening is a very disorienting process — full of ups and downs, questions and answers, epiphanies followed by temporary certainty followed by the hard-earned lesson that the more I learn, the less I know. It is a constant reminder that “I know nothing.”
As helpful as accepting “I know nothing” may be, it is not an excuse for silencing my voice, silencing myself, silencing my being. Not that an excuse is necessary. Everything happens when its time comes. Everything is as it is, when it is, how it is. Nothing is out-of-place.
So I start with “I know nothing,” and build on it, imperfectly. The key word there is “build” — to take action, even in the face of not knowing. To chose to build, even after I accept it will be imperfect, incomplete, not quite the Truth.
Accepting this is how I have come to start writing again. This is my attempt at conveying my little “t” truth.
Little “t” truth
I want to tell you about the concept of little “t” truth. But it may be helpful to start with glancing over big “T” Truth.
Big “T” Truth exists. It is, Truth is. Whether it is discovered or not, acknowledged or not, it does not matter. It is omnipresent, universal, completely inclusive in all time, space, and dimensions. There are many ways and paths to discovering and uncovering big “T” Truth. When one wakes up, they are aware of the path they are on, and they acknowledge it.
Little “t” truth is a personal truth, my personal truth, and it is unique to me. It is the individual truth. It is a product of the function of all that is my “entirety” — my experiences, thoughts, relationships, genes, environment, time, space, personality, feelings, vibrations, and ego. It is everything that has and does and will make an impression on me.
Each person has their own unique little “t” truth. One way we communicate our truths is through our words. Our truths may appear to be congruent as we use the same words as representations of our own “entireties” but actually these representations are each rooted in fundamentally distinct soil. Therefore, my little “t” truth does not exactly align with your little “t” truth.
These similar-but-fundamentally-different truths can lead to an assumption of knowing another person’s truth. As you can imagine, this can lead to misunderstanding and eventually conflict.
If a person lived in a black and white world, anything outside one’s own truth could be denied and labelled “untruth” or “wrong.” And the idea of another’s “wrongness” is the reasoning underlying violence — used to justify violence — whether one is aware or not. Violence of not just actions, but also of thoughts, words, feelings, and vibrations.
On the other hand, one can use this concept of unique truths to begin understanding another person. With understanding comes empathy, compassion, acceptance, and non-violence. This concept is an invitation to love your enemies.
As I begin writing again, it is my intention to speak my truth — an honest, little “t” truth.
My aim in these mettā letters is to mark my journey to eventually align my little “t” truth with the big “T” Truth. I intend to find congruence in the two. It is a never-ending work in progress.
What I write may be disorienting. Or confusing. Or it may be reassuring. Or enlightening. No matter the response — any response it evokes or does not evoke is what it is.
A closing note — don’t simply take my little “t” truth at its face — I invite you to incorporate it into your thoughts and actions and see whether it serves you or not.
More to come.
Jamestown, ND, USA
P.S. I recently updated the About page to explain my intention with my writing. I hope it will give a sense of direction I intend going forward.
Thank you for visiting. Your attention is a gift to me. My writing is a gift to you. I invite you to share this gift with another.